May 20, 2020
Episode Title: “Confinement Chaos” By Tracy Kenela, M.A., LMHC, CRC, CEDS, ACHT of Lokahi Counseling
Intro: Tracy Kenela is the founder of Lokahi Counseling and Calming the Chaos Podcast. In this episode, Tracy continues to offer help to those who are struggling with being confined to their homes during the COVID-19 Quarantine. Tracy presents an overview of the two types of people who generally struggle with “Confinement Chaos,” and presents some examples of common problematic thought patterns that can create or increase chaos in the mind under quarantine. Tracy presents the RADICAL Approach that can help both types of people Calm the Chaos of Confinement.
1. “Confinement Chaos” is similar to “Cabin Fever” in that you are “confined” to a space by yourself or others. Confinement in both cases can cause chaos in the mind when thoughts become overwhelming, confused, random, intense or uncontained.
Confinement Chaos can happen to at least two groups of people:
a. Those who (in general) PREFER to have contact with others
b. Those who (in general) do NOT prefer to have contact with others
2. Confinement Chaos happens in people who PREFER to have contact with others because of a sense of LOSS (i.e. “I don’t have enough of what I DO want”)
a. They miss the people they want to be with
b. They experience a sense of loss at not being able to do fun activities
c. They miss being in people’s energy
3. Confinement Chaos happens in people who prefer NOT to have contact with others because of a sense of OVERWHELM (i.e. “I have too much of what I DON’T want”)
a. They get overwhelmed by their own thoughts and feelings
b. They are sensitive to other people they are confined with
c. They may feel even MORE socially pressured because of online invitations and options
4. Seven (7) Thought patterns commonly seen in those who PREFER contact with others:
i. I am going crazy here all alone
ii. Anything is better than being all by myself
iii. will this ever end? What if it doesn’t?
iv. I didn’t get to go to prom or graduation or on that trip to Europe or…..
v. I need a hug and I may never get one ever again
vi. I am just not happy when other people aren’t around to cheer me up
vii. I’m stuck with people I don’t like, and can’t see the one I love
Having these sorts of thoughts can create emotions such as anxiety, frustration, fear and sadness because something is missing that they want!
5. Seven (7) Thought patterns commonly seen in those who do NOT prefer contact with others:
i. I am going crazy here with these people….get me out of
ii. Anything is better than being with these people
iii. will this ever end? What if it doesn’t? GET ME OUT OF HERE!
iv. I just need a quiet moment to myself and I’ll probably never get it
v. I wish people would just stay away from me and leave me alone!
vi. These people are bringing me down and making me mad
vii. Why did I ever think I loved this person? They are driving me mad!
Having these sorts of thoughts can create emotions such as anxiety, frustration, fear and sadness because they have too much of something they DON’T want!
6. The RADICAL Solution to overcoming Confinement Chaos:
Reflect on your Relationship with yourself: Which type are you? Do you like being alone? With others? Why would that matter? SIMPLE to figure out:
Like With others: Positive experiences ------- Want to be with
Like Without others: Negative experiences --- Want to be alone
Bottom line: Most people want to be with people they want to be with
Assess your Ability and willingness to make changes: Create options or distance?
Discover and Describe your emotional experiences: See Above. Decide to change thinking.
Intuition Intellect to seek solutions to struggles: Use intuition and intellect to decide what to do
Communicate your needs Clearly: I statements “I
feel_______when________. I need ________.”
CAVEAT: You may not get what you ask for…no matter HOW skillfully you ask!
Allow yourself to receive Assistance from yourself and others. Ask for help and receive it!
Love yourself no matter what. Love yourself through this!
Listen to “Calming the Chaos” Podcast by visiting calmingthechaos.libsyn.com, or visit my Website: at www.lokahicounseling.com
On my website, there’s a link to a mindfulness CD I created called “On This Day.” This CD teaches you how to practice mindfulness in less than 10 minutes throughout the day. Practicing mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress and increase clear thinking in times of chaos.
You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067
Listen to Calming the Chaos!
iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1
Libsyn and Google Play: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com
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Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94
Open Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/
Thanks for listening, and take care!
Beck, A.T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. New York, NY: International Universities Press, Inc.
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. New York, NY, Guilford Press.
Thanks for Listening!